RE: NANFA-- off topic but good
Crail, Todd (tcrail_at_northshores.com)
Mon, 15 Jul 2002 21:43:46 -0400
Actually, I think St. Francis would have said:
"Dandelions and Canda Thistle? Excuse me for saying so, but I think your omniscience is slipping a bit. Don't you remember? You planted those in Europe origninally where you gave them their own sets of disease and predators to keep them in check, yet gave them the survival skills to flourish inspite of that predation. Only when You'd given man free-will, did he make a woeful descision to bring them to the wonderful self-sustaining garden of North America that You'd pieced together in such harmony, had they become weedy. And unfortunately, because man has spite your desire to have fires run across the garden of North America on a regular basis, he has toiled hard in the fight to rid himself of his own doing, and curses Your Name when his house burns down."
;)
-----Original Message-----
From: Nicholas J. Zarlinga
Sent: Sun 7/14/2002 5:02 PM
To: 'nanfa_at_aquaria.net'
Cc:
Subject: NANFA-- off topic but good
>Lawns & God
> >
> > GOD: Francis, you know all about gardens and
> > nature. What in the world is going on down there in
> > the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets,
> > thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect,
> > no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow
> > in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply
> > with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting
> > blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks
> > of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of
> > colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.
> >
> > ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there,
> > Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling
> > your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to
> > kill them and replace them with grass.
> >
> > GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not
> > colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees,
> > only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with
> > temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all
> > that grass growing there?
> >
> > ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to
> > great pains to grow it and keep it green. They
> > begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any
> > other plant that crops up in the lawn.
> >
> > GOD: The spring rains and warm weather
> >probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the
> > Suburbanites happy.
> >
> > ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it
> > grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.
> >
> > GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like
> > hay?
> >
> > ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly Lord. Most of them
> > rake it up and put it in bags.
> >
> > GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do
> > they sell it?
> >
> > ST. FRANCIS: No, sir -- just the opposite.
> > They pay to throw it away.
> >
> > GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They
> > fertilize grass so it will grow.
> > And when it does grow, they cut it off and
> > pay to throw it away?
> >
> > ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.
> >
> > GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in
> > the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn
> > up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves
> > them a lot of work.
> >
> > ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe
> > this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they
> > drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they
> > can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
> >
> > GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some
> > of the trees. That was a sheer stoke of genius, if I
> > do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the
> > spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In
> > the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural
> > blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the
> > trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form
> > compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.
> >
> > ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. The
> > Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon
> > as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles
> > and pay to have them hauled away.
> >
> > GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub
> > and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and
> > loose?
> >
> > ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves,
> > they go out and buy something which they call mulch.
> > They haul it home and spread it around in place of the
> > leaves.
> >
> > GOD: And where do they get this mulch?
> >
> > ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind
> > them up to make the mulch.
> >
> > GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this
> > anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts.
> > What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
> >
> > ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber," Lord. It's
> > a real stupid movie about ---
> >
> > GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the
> > whole story from St. Francis
Nick Zarlinga
Aquarium Biologist
Cleveland Metroparks Zoo
216-661-6500 ex 4485
"Fish worship... is it wrong??" (Ray Troll)
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/"Unless stated otherwise, comments made on this list do not necessarily
/ reflect the beliefs or goals of the North American Native Fishes
/ Association"
/ This is the discussion list of the North American Native Fishes Association
/ nanfa_at_aquaria.net. To subscribe, unsubscribe, or get help, send the word
/ subscribe, unsubscribe, or help in the body (not subject) of an email to
/ nanfa-request_at_aquaria.net. For a digest version, send the command to
/ nanfa-digest-request_at_aquaria.net instead.
/ For more information about NANFA, visit our web page, http://www.nanfa.org