Re: NANFA-- off topic but good

Tom Watson (onefish2fish_at_attbi.com)
Sun, 14 Jul 2002 19:10:59 -0700

I recall some speculation in an ethology class in college (some years ago)
that open parks and lawns are an innate attempt to re-create our savannah
birthplace.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Brian Haas" <bhaas_at_netexpress.net>
To: <nanfa_at_aquaria.net>
Sent: Sunday, July 14, 2002 6:47 PM
Subject: Re: NANFA-- off topic but good

> ...very good, and terribly true.
>
> By the way, does anybody know the history of lawns and lawncare? Where in
> history did this awful practice begin?
>
> Travis Haas
> Hazel Green, WI
>
>
>
> At 05:02 PM 7/14/02 -0400, you wrote:
> > >Lawns & God
> >> >
> >> > GOD: Francis, you know all about gardens and
> >> > nature. What in the world is going on down there in
> >> > the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets,
> >> > thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect,
> >> > no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow
> >> > in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply
> >> > with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting
> >> > blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks
> >> > of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of
> >> > colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.
> >> >
> >> > ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there,
> >> > Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling
> >> > your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to
> >> > kill them and replace them with grass.
> >> >
> >> > GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not
> >> > colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees,
> >> > only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with
> >> > temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all
> >> > that grass growing there?
> >> >
> >> > ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to
> >> > great pains to grow it and keep it green. They
> >> > begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any
> >> > other plant that crops up in the lawn.
> >> >
> >> > GOD: The spring rains and warm weather
> >> >probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the
> >> > Suburbanites happy.
> >> >
> >> > ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it
> >> > grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.
> >> >
> >> > GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like
> >> > hay?
> >> >
> >> > ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly Lord. Most of them
> >> > rake it up and put it in bags.
> >> >
> >> > GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do
> >> > they sell it?
> >> >
> >> > ST. FRANCIS: No, sir -- just the opposite.
> >> > They pay to throw it away.
> >> >
> >> > GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They
> >> > fertilize grass so it will grow.
> >> > And when it does grow, they cut it off and
> >> > pay to throw it away?
> >> >
> >> > ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.
> >> >
> >> > GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in
> >> > the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn
> >> > up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves
> >> > them a lot of work.
> >> >
> >> > ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe
> >> > this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they
> >> > drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they
> >> > can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
> >> >
> >> > GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some
> >> > of the trees. That was a sheer stoke of genius, if I
> >> > do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the
> >> > spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In
> >> > the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural
> >> > blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the
> >> > trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form
> >> > compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.
> >> >
> >> > ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. The
> >> > Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon
> >> > as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles
> >> > and pay to have them hauled away.
> >> >
> >> > GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub
> >> > and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and
> >> > loose?
> >> >
> >> > ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves,
> >> > they go out and buy something which they call mulch.
> >> > They haul it home and spread it around in place of the
> >> > leaves.
> >> >
> >> > GOD: And where do they get this mulch?
> >> >
> >> > ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind
> >> > them up to make the mulch.
> >> >
> >> > GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this
> >> > anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts.
> >> > What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
> >> >
> >> > ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber," Lord. It's
> >> > a real stupid movie about ---
> >> >
> >> > GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the
> >> > whole story from St. Francis
> >
> >Nick Zarlinga
> >Aquarium Biologist
> >Cleveland Metroparks Zoo
> >216-661-6500 ex 4485
> >
> >"Fish worship... is it wrong??" (Ray Troll)
> ---
> >/"Unless stated otherwise, comments made on this list do not necessarily
> >/ reflect the beliefs or goals of the North American Native Fishes
> >/ Association"
> >/ This is the discussion list of the North American Native Fishes
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> >/ nanfa_at_aquaria.net. To subscribe, unsubscribe, or get help, send the
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> >/ For more information about NANFA, visit our web page,
http://www.nanfa.org

--
> /"Unless stated otherwise, comments made on this list do not necessarily
> / reflect the beliefs or goals of the North American Native Fishes
> / Association"
> / This is the discussion list of the North American Native Fishes
Association
> / nanfa_at_aquaria.net. To subscribe, unsubscribe, or get help, send the word
> / subscribe, unsubscribe, or help in the body (not subject) of an email to
> / nanfa-request_at_aquaria.net. For a digest version, send the command to
> / nanfa-digest-request_at_aquaria.net instead.
> / For more information about NANFA, visit our web page,
http://www.nanfa.org
/-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
/"Unless stated otherwise, comments made on this list do not necessarily
/ reflect the beliefs or goals of the North American Native Fishes
/ Association"
/ This is the discussion list of the North American Native Fishes Association
/ nanfa_at_aquaria.net. To subscribe, unsubscribe, or get help, send the word
/ subscribe, unsubscribe, or help in the body (not subject) of an email to
/ nanfa-request_at_aquaria.net. For a digest version, send the command to
/ nanfa-digest-request_at_aquaria.net instead.
/ For more information about NANFA, visit our web page, http://www.nanfa.org